My Quarter-Life Crisis

 

I always thought 25 sounded so old.. It’s a quarter of a century; my mid 20s; the year my body starts on its downhill trajectory and hangovers properly start. Life should start to figure itself out by now. You’d be well on your way to your next promotion, your next relationship milestone, maybe even creating the next generation.


Instead, I quit my corporate job, packed my life up in a backpack and left.


Some could say that this was my quarter life crisis. Amidst growing pressure to be both young and free; while also settling down, I decided to leave behind anything I thought I knew and create my own story.

I’ve flitted around hostels in Southeast Asia, taken spontaneous flights around Europe, made crazy decision after crazy decision to take me further and further away from my comfort zone.

And amidst one of those crazy decisions to just head to Thailand for my self-imposed ‘birthday week,’ I came to realise that there was no other way to be 25.


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Your mid-20s should be about going after what you want - because you know what that is now.


For me, the desire to chase the adventure has only become stronger. And it’s not just the adventure of jumping out of planes and the crazy things you end up doing while travelling. But it’s the adventures of life itself that has been most thrilling - the conquering of fears, the battle with constant self-doubt and those moments when I’m able to say with confidence that I am happy.

This week reminded me that, as amazing as it is to connect with fellow travellers, there’s something else that has clicked for me this past year. I’m not travelling, this is just my life. I’m not getting all my life out in one week to balance out the work for all the other weeks of the year.

This is it - the good the bad, the ups, the downs, the wild adventures and the super chill times. As age, maturity or whatever it might be called catches up to me, I am more settled in those smaller moments. I’m more comfortable with being bored, with not hitting that Instagram spot or tourist attraction.


I have finally accepted the fact that I just don’t have to do anything else but what I want to do.


It’s not that travelling has lost its thrill on me. My heart still flutters every time the plane wheels leave the runway and I’m speechless at the view. I’m still enamoured by the different cultures, different food, different landscapes that I am able to experience. I cannot believe my life most days.

But what has changed is the thought that this is just a moment in time that I’m chasing; that this moment of bliss can only last for so long before ‘reality’ rolls in and I’m back in the office after my annual leave.


What’s changed is the knowledge that I have control over my own story - and it doesn’t need to be published.


I recognise the irony of publishing this epiphany on the internet. But I’m slowly shedding the pressure that my life has to be overly interesting or my blog posts need to be overly insightful. Sure, I still hope you’re reading but I’m no longer living my life for the gram or the epiphany that I can write about here.

I’m no longer living my life for the expectation of what it could be or should be. I’m just living.

So yes, these past 25 years have been a wild ride and the best thing I’ve ever done. But I’ve got a feeling that the next 25 will be even better.